Interview with Anthony Rebello on Heterosexual Pride Parade

The LGBT community, the media, and the internet in general have been raging over the recent Heterosexual Pride Parade that took place in Seattle, Washington at Capitol Hill. The man behind this social media rage fest is Anthony Rebello. After deciding that he wanted to have a parade in celebration of his own sexuality, he took to Facebook to create an event and invite others. (https://www.facebook.com/events/426907587464714)
However, many who found the event were appalled and offended. They immediately began to accuse Rebello of being a homophobic bigot and soon took to all forms of social media to continue, and escalate, the harassment. When I heard about this I became curious and decided to see who this man was and why he thought a straight pride parade was necessary. After reading a line in his Blog, Smile Me A River, where he questioned why everyone had decided to attack him without reaching out to get his side of the story first, I knew what I had to do. I did reach out to Rebello and, admittedly to my surprise, he responded and agreed to an interview. Ladies and gentlemen, I give you Anthony Rebello.

Rebello's Social Media:
Website: http://www.anthonyrebello.com
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/birdbutter
Blog: http://smilemeariver.blogspot.com

Is Being Trans Creepy

Oftentimes when talking to someone about transgender topics you will get guarded responses.  They will seem uncomfortable and say things like, “It’s just wrong.”  They won’t understand and won’t want to talk about it.  This kind of avoidance reaction is typical when dealing with things that “give us the creeps.”  We find things creepy for one of two reasons.

The first reason is when something seems unnatural and causes us discomfort.  But really, there should be no reason to see being trans as unnatural.  Being trans is often, if not always, caused by our biology and what could be more natural than that?  The root cause is sometimes even in our chromosomes, specifically our sex chromosomes, although this is not always the case.  Everyone knows that girls are XX and boys are XY; or are they?  Numeric abnormalities can leave a person with the wrong number of sex chromosomes.  For example, a girl can be simply X, or a boy can be XXY or even XXXY!  Structural defects of the sex chromosomes can leave you with a non-functioning or malfunctioning chromosome.  For example, a baby may be XY but the Y chromosome is defective and doesn’t work.  Either scenario can have an overwhelming impact on hormone production and development of the person.  Sometimes the person will turn out “normal” and fit well in the binary male/female society that we’ve created, but oftentimes they will be transgender, transsexual, genderqueer, or hermaphroditic.  This is actually more common than you would think as well.  In fact, at least 1 in 448 babies will have a sex chromosome abnormality.  Really, if it’s not hurting us or anyone else, why treat it as a bad thing?

Which brings me to my next point; the other way something can be creepy is by causing you fear when you can’t identify the threat.  The reason you can’t identify the threat of a trans person is because we are not threatening!  We aren’t crazy, we are just different.  We don’t want to “turn your children,” in fact we would not wish our struggles on our worst enemies.  We don’t have deviant sexualities!  We are only as sexual as the rest of the population, and we want loving partners and happy families just like everyone else.  There is no reason to be afraid of us.

If there is no reason to think being trans is unnatural or scary then there is no reason to be creeped out by trans people.  The more you learn about us or get to know us the more you will find that we are actually pretty normal.  So go find something else to spook yourself about!

Movie Review – Cloudburst

I love hearing the stories of old LGBT couples because they tell us how far we’ve come and give us the inspiration to keep going.  That’s why I jumped at the chance to watch Cloudburston Netflix.  It turned out not only to be a great comedy but also one of my new favorite lesbian films.

Writer and director Thom Fitzgerald, an out and proud bisexual man, knew what he was doing when he wrote the part of Stella for actress Olympia Dukakis, a straight ally and LGBT activist.  Her lover of 31 years, Dot, was played by Brenda Fricker, the first Irish woman to win an Oscar.  The story begins when they decide to elope in Canada in order to avoid being split up by family.  On the way they pick up Prentice, played by Ryan Doucette, who quickly becomes their new best friend and biggest advocate.  Together they cause all sorts of madness and mayhem that will have you laughing to split your sides.

Filmed in Nova Scotia, where much of the movie is said to take place, the backdrops are absolutely breathtaking and the lighting and settings capture the mood of every scene perfectly.  The music is generally of an older, jazzy generation that helps to frame the upbringing and experiences of the two older women.  Also, I have to commend the costume designer and makeup artist for turning Olympia Dukakis, Cher’s mother in Moonstruck who went on to play inSteel Magnolias, into a foul mouthed bull dyke.

I guarantee that these wild, wacky characters will have you on the edge of your seat waiting for their next adventure.  They did for me, and that’s why I rate this movie a solid 4 stars.  Since it’s available on Netflix, you can make this your instant choice for this weekend’s movie night.  Make sure you let me know what you think in the comments below.

I Finally Came Out

I know I'm still fairly young and I still have a long way to go on my journey of transition but it feels like I've done a lot already.  In fact, I've taken what I think is the biggest step of all.  I finally came out, and I mean to everybody!
I can still remember the first time I realized something was really different about me.  I was fourteen and I had a dream, but it was nothing like Mr. King's!  In my dream I was myself and there was a boy my age flirting with me and after a short while he leaned in to kiss me.  At this point it was like a movie camera had zoomed out, panned around to shift angles, and then zoomed back in.  Next thing I know, I'm the young guy and I'm kissing a beautiful girl.  I woke up with my heart racing, almost as fast as my mind, and burst into tears.  I sobbed desperately into my pillow out of embarrassment, confusion, and fear.
For the next four years it was a long road of denial.  I wasn't interested in men but that was only because I hadn't found the right one.  I was constantly looking at women but only because I was comparing my body to theirs' and certainly not because I thought they were attractive.  Eventually though, like all bad charades, mine came to a screeching halt.  I had fallen in love... with a girl!  I was eighteen and in college and she was my best friend.  From that moment on I could no longer deny my attraction to women.
I did, however, continue to date men and avoid my own masculinity.  I actually did fall in love with a man and we dated for two and a half years.  The problem was that as our relationship progressed I became more and more aware of the fact that I didn't want to be with him, I wanted to be him!  Near the end of our relationship he told me he could see me being a good man and a good boyfriend... just not to him.  It felt like the affirmation I had been waiting my whole life for, even though it came with a heavy price.
From that moment on I found every way I could to assert my masculinity, no matter how small or private.  I bought some men's clothes, told my  best friend how I felt, and started going to gay clubs.  I also started the blog you're reading now.  I was suddenly overwhelmed with emotions I had been suppressing for years and the more I expressed my masculinity the more right it felt.
Now, don't get me wrong, this wasn't all peaches and cream.  For a while I became hyper masculine which on some level I knew was fake and awkward.  However, as time went on I settled into myself and accepted my femininity.  By doing this I stopped playing the macho role and became a man.
That's when I knew I had found my true identity and I was ready to come out.  There was no more questioning, only acceptance, and it was time for the world to know and accept me also.  I had opened up to my older sister, my best friend, and a few other people already.  Now came the hard part, telling my mother!  It happened so fast that I can barely remember.  I had not planned it, I was just telling her about my new life in Oregon and next thing I knew I was rambling on about how I've always really been a boy.  Poor Mom, she didn't know what to say, but she took it like a champ.  She simply asked me to give her time to process this new information.  I told her I understood and that of course I would.
After that it was fairly easy to come out.  I had my Mom, sisters, and best friend so there was no one left to worry about losing.  If there was anybody else that didn't want me in their life I didn't need them.  So, a week later I logged into Facebook and made one heck of a status update!  It detailed that I'm transgender, that my name is now William, and that I'm happy and proud.  I even changed my header photo to a rainbow that read "I'm coming out!"
The response I got was better than I'd dared to hope.  Friends and family from all over, even people I barely spoke to, left messages of love and support or at least a thumbs up.  It's been about a week and I have yet to be told that I'm an abomination by anyone.  I'm now living my life truer than ever before and, far from the scary, difficult road I thought it would be, it's one of the easiest things I've ever done.  The truth is always easier than a lie.  The difficulty is finding out what the truth is; that's the journey we are all on. 

As my journey continues I know there will continue to be hard decisions to make.  I have to choose when and how to start testosterone and whether or not surgery is right for me.  For now, the toughest decision I have to make is "Men's" or "Women's" when I go to the bathroom.  I still find it terrifying not knowing who or what is on the other side of that door!  Though now, I can handle it all knowing I am no longer alone.

How to Come Out to Your Parents

For many in the LGBT community coming out is a terrifying process and coming out to family seems akin to sentencing your own death.  We’ve been told for so long that as soon as we come out we will be abandoned by everyone that we know and love so we stay in the closet and we let the cobwebs grow.  I myself was worried sick for years and years, trying to change who I was and then simply hide who I was so that I wouldn't have to deal with telling my family.  I thought they would hate me and I was scared of being kicked out of the house or disowned.  While this never happened my relationship with my family was strained for many years both prior to and following my coming out.  I realize now that most of this was a direct result of my inability to communicate properly.  I was too scared to have an open, honest conversation with my family and so I let all communication die entirely.  Hopefully I can help you to avoid the mistakes that I made!  In order to successfully come out you are going to need a plan of action and these are the steps I wish I had taken so many years ago.  It would have saved my family and I a lot of heartache!

Step one is simply to focus on yourself.  You need to be honest with yourself about who you are and accept the person you are becoming.  Keep a journal and use it to work through your feelings and anxieties.  (Warning - make sure this journal is well hidden or destroy the paper you write on as soon as you are done!)  Write in a stream of conscious, where you just write every thought that comes to you as you have it, to bring to the front of your mind thoughts that you may otherwise deny or push away.  Or you can write your daily events and how they made you feel.  Also, I believe analyzing your dreams can help you to understand your thoughts and emotions and help you to make new discoveries about yourself.  To unlock the full potential of your dreams see my previous article on lucid dreaming.

Step two is to make sure that you stay connected with your family.  This may be difficult and even painful but it is very important.  At this point your family has not given you any reason to hate or mistrust them so don’t.  For a long time I assumed the worst of my family and began to treat them as if they had already disowned me.  This is the worst thing you can do!  You are only causing yourself and your family unnecessary pain and creating resentment that will make it even harder to come out.  You may even cause them to believe that your bad behavior is a direct result of you being LGBT and they may think it’s a psychological illness that need to be fixed.  Ultimately, our families love us and want us to be happy and hate anything that makes us unhappy, so stay positive!

Step three should be to do as much research on LGBT topics as possible!  Even if you think you are bisexual, research lesbian topics as well.  Even if you think you are gay, find out information on transgender issues.  At this point you are questioning because you really don’t know who you are and you have a lot to figure out!  It’s ok if you research something just to say that it doesn’t feel like what you are going through because the more you know about what you are not the easier it is to be sure of what you are.  You should also read about what science is discovering about being LGBT and what psychologists are learning about our community.  You should get familiar with LGBT terminology and read blogs and watch videos about actual LGBT people.

Step four is to find support groups either online, in your school, or in your community to help you through this time.  This is incredibly important because these support groups can help you with the first three steps.  They can also help you to connect with others in the LGBT community so that you can begin to create friendships and get helpful advice from others.

Step five is to begin creating dialogue with your family about LGBT topics.  You are already doing research and learning a great deal of new information about the LGBT community so use this to open a line of communication with your family.  This will give you the opportunity to understand what their feelings and beliefs are and to let them know that you support the LGBT community.  Even if your parents don’t like it, you do have the right to form your own opinions and to disagree with them.  For example, if they think homosexuality is unnatural then you can tell them about the hundreds of animals that have gay sex in the wild.  If they think being transgender is an illness you can tell them about fish and frogs that transition all the time.  All of these things can open their minds to new ideas without them even realizing.  That way when you are ready to tell them your secret they already have knowledge on the subject which they can draw from.  They will also understand you better and understand how this change is what you need to be happy.  The most important thing to remember here is that you are having a discussion, not an argument.  Never, yell, scream, cry, or call them names because they disagree.  Just know that they have deeply rooted beliefs and it’s going to take time for them to accept these new ideas.

***If at this point your family becomes adamant that LGBT people are sick or sinners, that they need conversion therapy, if they become extremely angry and scare you or threaten you, or if they abuse you in any way then stop talking to them about LGBT issues immediately and seek help from a counselor or therapist!  Do not come out to them if it will put you in danger in any way!***

Step six, tell a safe person.  By a safe person I mean someone who you can go to live with if things get bad at home.  Choose someone you know will love and support you no matter what.  This person should be someone you trust to keep your secret and not out you.  Someone who will allow you to tell your friends and family in your own way on your own time.  They could be an aunt or uncle or maybe even a friend’s parents.

Finally, as long as steps one through six have been successful and you feel ready, it’s time to tell your family.  Chose a time when everyone is calm and tell them you need to talk to them.  Be straight to the point and be firm.  Do not expect the worst and jump to conclusions and become defensive, angry, or upset.  Instead, try to stay as calm as possible.  They may not take it well and they may say ignorant or hurtful things, but most likely they don’t realize how they are being hurtful.  You need to allow them to make mistakes and ask stupid questions and just try to correct them and answer them as best as possible.  Tell them you love and trust them and want them to be a part of your life and that’s why you told them.  Tell them you can’t change but that you understand they need time to process and adjust.  And they do!  You have had years to understand and accept who you are and it’s been a hard road for you!  It’s going to be the same for them so understand that they will need to process this information and learn to accept it as well.  Things will (most likely) get better with time as long as you stay committed to being honest with them about who you are and continue to try to connect with them.

I sincerely hope that this helps you and that you are able to have a wonderful coming out experience.  Life on the other side is usually so much more free and enjoyable that you wonder what kept you in the closet so long.  It can be extremely rough at times, but I assure you that things get much easier as you get older.  This world is changing rapidly and the LGBT community is making large strides in becoming better understood, more accepted, and gaining more rights.  We’re all fighting for you so don’t forget that you also have a family in us!

Why Learn How to Lucid Dream

There seems to be a lot of discussion lately on lucid dreaming, especially amongst the YouTube-ing community.  In fact, I’ve made several of my own videos about lucid dreaming which you can find at the link below.  In case you don’t already know what a lucid dream is, it’s when you know that you are dreaming as you dream.  This gives you the potential to manipulate your dream world so that you can do whatever you want.  

I first heard the concept of lucid dreaming in middle school when one of my friends told me he could control his dreams.  Of course, he was just using this ability to release sexual tension.  I tried for a while and had very little success (I could never convince my dream characters that it was a good idea to have sex with me) so I gave up… until recently.  I recently rediscovered lucid dreaming and found a whole new context for how it could be used; that is, dream therapy.

Now, you may be thinking I’m crazy, saying to yourself, “You need real therapy!”  How can you have therapy without a therapist?  Well, it’s true, I’m not saying you should give your therapist a pink slip and start sleeping all the time.  However, dreaming can be a powerful tool, especially if you are going through something as difficult as transitioning your gender.  The reason it’s so great is that during your dreams you have access to your subconscious mind.  When you talk to a therapist most of what they are doing is trying to unlock your true feelings, your inner most fears and desires.  What if instead of spending countless hours in endless therapy sessions going around in circles you could ask your subconscious directly and have an answer in seconds?  In your dreams you can!

If you have a lucid dream you can close your eyes and tell yourself, “I want to speak to my subconscious.”  Then you can imagine your subconscious mind as a dream character standing in front of you.  When you open your eyes they should be there and then you will be able to have a conversation with them.  You can ask them questions that your conscious mind hasn’t been able to or hasn’t allowed you to answer yet.  Sometimes, your subconscious character will even give you information that you didn’t think to ask about or lead you to new questions you haven’t thought of yet.  By doing this you can access your true feelings and do away with a lot of confusion.

You can also use your dreams as a chance to meditate on positive intentions for your life and your goals.  Specifically, as a transgender person you can create a mantra like, “I am ready for transition.  I am happy about my transition.  I will love myself before, during, and after my transition.”  This can dramatically reshape your mood and give you more confidence.  Also, if you have a particular fear about transition your can choose to either face that fear head on or you can talk to your subconscious dream character about that fear in order to get advice.  This can be a powerful way to overcome hurdles that might otherwise stall or even prevent your transition!

I’ve also come up with my own “lucid dream program” to aid my transition.  First, I will meditate on seeing myself as a masculine person and affirming to myself that I am already a man.  I am confident that this will carry over to my real life and make me more confident in my masculinity and my transition.  Also, I am a big believer in the power of mind over body because I have seen and experienced first hand amazing results with meditation and thought channeling.  Therefore, I will also use my dreams to tell my body that I am overflowing with Testosterone.  I will tell myself that this Testosterone is changing my body by causing more muscle mass, growing a beard, shutting down my menstrual cycle, and deepening my voice.  I can’t say for sure that this will work or what kind of results I will get if it does, but I’m confident it will at least have low levels of effectiveness.  I also think it will make me excited about transition and make me feel more positive about my masculine body image.

At any rate, your overall goal with lucid dream therapy should be to learn more about yourself and learn how to accept and love yourself for who you really are.  Transition can be scary and it can take us years to realize that it’s what we need to be happy!  Sometimes, we start transition only to realize how difficult it is and we become too scared to continue.  If you can use your dreams to make this process easier to understand and easier to deal with I say, “Why not!”  It’s free, it’s fun, and you do it every night anyway!  

Sweet dreams...

If you want to learn how to lucid dream watch my instructional YouTube video at:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-63tIzEpvvA

If you want to hear about my lucid dreams visit my YouTube channel at:

https://www.youtube.com/user/EamonWill/videos

Bible and Homosexuality - Sodom and Gomorrah

In this post I will attempt to answer whether or not the story of Sodom and Gomorrah proves homosexuality to be a sin.  I have been putting off the responsibility of writing this post for a long time because their are so many elements to consider and so little information given.  However, I have read several versions from several Bibles, read others’ ideas on the matter, and pondered this question for long enough that I now feel fully prepared to give my opinion.

The first thing I noticed while reading this story is that thus far there are no specific rules of conduct that are established to be followed.  There are not commandments, nor any other lists of rules.  The only thing that is certain is that God requires people to know, love, and obey him.  Other than that we are given two clues to what God believes is sin.  The first is in Genesis 6:5 which reads, “And God saw that the wickedness of man was great in the earth, and that every imagination of the thoughts of his heart was only evil continually.”  The second is in Genesis 6:11 which reads, “The earth also was corrupt before God, and the earth was filled with violence.”

The second thing I noticed is that, although this story is usually told as if God destroyed Sodom and Gomorrah based on what happened after the angels arrived, God actually made plans to destroy the cities and then sent the angels to determine if this was necessary.  In Genesis 18:20-21 God speaks to Abraham about His plans when he says, “...Because the cry of Sodom and Gomorrah is great, and because their sin is very grievous; I will go down now, and see whether they have done altogether according to the cry of it…”  Abraham, knowing his nephew Lot lived there, became concerned and implored God not to destroy the city for the sake of the righteous men their.  God promises, in Genesis 18:32 that if he can find even just ten righteous men he will not destroy the cities.

As the story continues we see that Lot meets the angels at the gate to the cities, offers them shelter in his home, and that night all the men of the cities demand that Lot allow them to “know” the angels.  Subsequently, the angels agree that the cities are filled with wickedness and God destroys them, saving only Lot.  If you believe homosexuality is wrong, of course you can read this to agree with your opinion.  However, that’s much too presumptuous and leaves out too many factors.

First, Lot met the angels at the gate, which implies that he knew or recognized them somehow.  Abraham knew these men and recognized them as angels who walked with God, so it is safe to assume that Lot also either knew them already or could see that they were angels.  This would prove that he is a man of God and keeps company with God regularly as Abraham does.  Because the other men of the city did not recognize these men or know them as angels this would imply that they have no relationship with God and are therefore not righteous men.  Furthermore, when the men demand to “know,” or have sex with, the angels they are showing a lack of respect for God and his kingdom.  There lack of respect seems more significant to me than in what form they chose it to be shown.

Since many people seem to overlook the fact that these men were showing violence and contempt towards angels, I’ll focus on the idea that these men wanted to “know” other men.  Well, that may be true, but what they were really wanting was to rape these men.  Calling raping a man homosexuality is like calling a square a rectangle.  Yes, a square is a rectangle, but you are blatantly ignoring the fact that it is a very specific type of rectangle.  Rape is a very violent act and God has already shown his contempt for violence.  Now, you may want to jump in and say, “Well, what about Lot offering his daughters to be raped?”  While this is true (and disturbing) there are two good reasons why this is different and does not prove that homosexuality is the wrong being committed.  As I said before, Lot most likely knew these men were angels.  I say this both because he met them at the gates and because he was not surprised at all nor did he question them when they delivered their message from God.  Wouldn't you do almost anything to protect God and his kingdom or also to stay in God’s good graces?  Secondly, even if you don't agree that Lot knew these men were angels, it is obvious that at this point in history men were valued exponentially more than women.  A woman being sacrificed to save a man is not surprising at all.

For these reasons, I believe that this story proves only that violence against a man and/or contempt for God and his kingdom is seen as the ultimate wickedness/sin and that homosexuality, in and of itself, is not seen or commented on in this story.  Therefore, I really don't believe this story alone could prove homosexuality is a sin.

I hope you enjoyed this exploration of the Bible and homosexuality and, if you did, please stay tuned for the next installment of this series!

Path of Least Resistance

Not too long ago I took a flight home to see my mom and sisters.  This was the very first flight I've ever taken so I was mesmerized by the view.  As I was staring out the window I realized that everything man-made is divided into rectangles.  If you've ever flown or seen aerial pictures of the world you might be saying, "Uh, yeah, duh!"  But I had to ask myself why rectangles?  Why haven't we divided our land into circles or triangles or any other shape?
Well the answer is that rectangles are simpler for us.  Other shapes are awkward and they don't easily allow for equal division of land.  Other shapes don't split into even, equal rows for crops.  It's even easier to mow grass if we can go up one side and down the other in a rectangle.  Basically, it just makes life easier and we are programmed to want to take the road of least resistance.
It's the same in our social lives as well.  We find it important to avoid negative interactions and so we avoid conflict almost to an extreme.  This means that in a situation of oppressor and oppressed the oppressed will allow the oppression to continue as long as they can stand.  But the longer the discrimination continues the more savage it becomes and the more difficult it becomes to deny it's injustice.  Therefore, it is inevitable that a conflict will occur when the oppressed fight to gain or regain equal rights.
We have seen this before in the Civil Rights Movement of the African American community and we are seeing it again in the civil rights struggle of the LGBTQ community.  We have been targeted for too long and we will not stand it anymore so we are having to fight for equal rights.
But we would never have to fight each other at all if discrimination did not exist.  If no one was ever targeted and victimized then no one would have to struggle for equality and no one else would have to struggle to keep it away.  Think of how much energy our country is spending fighting itself.  Are we so lost and confused that we have to look into our neighbor's window to find what we are passionate about?
My point is that the true path of least resistance for humankind is to treat everyone with love and respect and never oppress or discriminate against anyone.  This way our lives won't be lost to meaningless conflict.
Love_Respect_Equality_Peace.

Bible and Homosexuality - Sex is Sin

My last post on how Transmen have sex inspired me to create this spin-off about how the Bible relates sex to sin.  This is another post in my series on the Bible and homosexuality.  I am still working on that series for those of you that are interested so I apologize that it has taken so long to make another post about it.  Also, I will be writing about Sodom and Gomorrah soon, I promise.
Basically, my point here will be how absurd it is to condemn a person based on what type of sex they have.  Before I even get to what the Bible says I would like to point out just how little we even have sex.
The average person:
Starts having sex at age 17 and stops having sex at age 70 which means they have a sexual life span of 53 years.
During one act of sex has foreplay for 20 minutes and sex for 5 minutes which means the total act lasts 25 minutes.
Has sex 103 times per year.
25 x 103 = 2,572  which is how many minutes per year they will have sex.
2,572 x 53 = 136,475  which is how many minutes they will have sex in a lifetime.
The average person lives 75 years which is 39,446,175 minutes.
136,475 / 39,446,175 = .0034597...
When multiplied by 100 this gives us .345978
So the average person spends only .35% of their life in the act of sex.
So, why are we making it out to be such a big deal?  I personally think it is erroneous to condemn someone for an act that they will spend less than 1% of their life doing.  And might I mention, it has no affect on anyone else anyway.
Now, lets see what the Bible says.  If you look carefully you can see that sex was never part of God's original plan and that sex in itself, no matter who is doing it or how, is a sin.  In Genesis Chapter 2 Verse 25 we read that Adam and Eve were both naked and unashamed.  From this we gather that they don't know what their nakedness is or what can be done with their naked bodies.  In Chapter 3 Verse 7 after Adam and Eve have eaten from the Tree of the Knowledge of Good and Evil the "eyes of them both were opened and they knew that they were naked."  Then they sewed fig leaves together and covered themselves.  Now that they have eaten from the tree and they know what sin is they are ashamed of their bodies because they realize their bodies can be vessels of sin.  Later, God asks them why they are hiding their bodies and demands to know if they have eaten from the tree.  This tells us that God never intended for Adam and Eve to know what nakedness is or to know what their bodies were capable of.  It isn't until Chapter 4 Verse 1 after Adam and Eve have been cast out of the Garden of Eden that they have sex.  From this we can conclude that all sex is sinful and God never intended for any of us to have sex.
For those of you who think my logic is flawed because the Bible refers to Adam and Eve as husband and wife and mentions them lying with one another before this happens I would like to point out that the Bible is filled with foreshadowing.   Almost everything that happens in the Bible is mentioned at least once before the Bible actually comes to telling its story.  In other words, the Bible will allude to things that have not happened yet and will later tell the story in full and explain how the events took place.  I find it obvious that's what's happening here as well.
Since sex is sin and no sin can be more sinful than any other sin then it is absurd to condemn anyone based on what type of sex they have.  None of us have the right to point fingers and say, "Your sin is worse than mine," we all just need to atone for our own sin and move on with our lives.

Tranny Sex

I have been avoiding this topic for a long time, but I can't avoid it forever and I have a friend who suggested it so I'm just going to do my best.  Basically, this topic is huge.  There are almost an unlimited amount of sub-topics under the main topic of sex so of course I can't cover it all in this one blog post.  However, I would like to try to touch on what most people seem to be curious about which is how do non-op or pre-op Transmen have sex (Since I'm not a Transwoman I don't feel I can speak for them).

First of all, everyone is different and not every Transman will want to have sex the same way.  Some Transmen won't want their genitalia touched at all, some will want only their clit's fondled, and others will be comfortable with everything being touched.  It's important to talk to the person that you are with and make sure you are compatible.  By that I mean you both want the same things or at least can agree on how to have sex to make you both happy.  Also, keep in mind that while some Transmen want to be with women and would be considered straight some Transmen want to be with men and are therefore gay.

For Transmen that wish to penetrate there are several options.  You can simply use your fingers, you can use a hard packer, you can use a strap-on, or you can use a strapless strap-on.  Fingers are a great option because you can target the g-spot specifically, you have a wider range of and greater control over the rhythm, and you can orally stimulate your partner at the same time.  The draw-back is that your arm can get tired too quickly, you can't go very deep, and you don't get the same sensation of having sex as a man that you would if you were thrusting.  If you do want that sensation you can try one of the other methods.

A hard packer is one way to get the sensation of having cis sex.  A hard packer is a device that you use to pack your pants so that you have a bulge like a penis and some even have a stand-to-pee device included.  They are different from soft packers in that they usually are longer and they are stiffer so that they can be used during sex.  The drawbacks to hard packers are that they can be too long and stiff so that you walk around looking like you have a hard on all the time and if you buy a smaller or less stiff model it might not work as well for sex.  Also, the harnesses for them can be quite expensive.  Therefore, a lot of people prefer to use a soft packer and use a strap-on for sex.

Strap-ons are very versatile and come in many different shapes, sizes, and even colors.  Some even have vibrating functions to enhance the pleasure of the receiver.  Others, called dual pleasure strap-ons, have nubs, bumps, ticklers, and vibrators to give pleasure to the wearer as well.  The problem with a lot of strap-ons is that the actual straps are not well made and do not keep the device in place.  Even if you can get one that you like with tight, secure straps you might not like the way the straps look.  That's why some Transmen prefer what are called strapless strap-ons.

A strapless strap-on is a dildo with an extra phallic nub coming off the base at a right angle.  This short, round nub, for lack of a better word, is what goes in the "wearer" and the phallus comes out between the legs and protrudes like a penis would.  This is the most lifelike of all the options and can be very pleasurable to both partners.  The wearer is able to receive sensation from the inserted part and from the phallus shaft rubbing on the clit and genitals.  Some also come with vibrating bullets that both partners can feel.  However, there can be two main problems with this option.  First, it's important to do a lot of research to find out what model is best because the nub can be uncomfortable if it's not shaped right and if it's too small it might simply slip out.  Also, you shouldn't use this model if you are very dysphoric about your body and won't be comfortable with the fact that it is inserted.

Of course, these are not the only ways of having sex with your partner and you can use any toy you would like or not use any toys at all.  These are just the basic ways to mimic the way that cis people have sex.  Obviously, no matter what method you choose you will have to do a lot of research and talk openly with your partner so that you make the best choice for both of you.  In the end, go for the least complicated method and make sure you are both having fun.  After all, that's what it's all about.

Good night!  ;D

The Bible and Homosexuality - Adam and Eve

In my post "The Christmas Season and My Quest for Answers" I wrote about making it my New Years Resolution to read the Bible and learn first hand what it says about homosexuality.  Though I will be reading the entire Bible I will be highlighting the key points here in my blog.  Basically, I will write about every story or quote that has ever been used to condemn homosexuality and I will be exploring it as it was originally meant to be understood as well as giving you my own interpretations.

Of course, the creation story is the first we come across and one of the most widely used.  I'm sure we've all heard the quote "God created Adam and Eve, not Adam and Steve."  And that's exactly how they tell the story, God made Adam and Eve, as if that's all there is to it but the Bible says that at first God just made Adam.  It was only after Adam got lonely that God decided to find Adam "an help meet."  It was at that point that God told Adam to pick his help meet from all the animals, but Adam said that none of them were right.  Later, when Adam was sleeping God took one of Adam's ribs to form Eve, a being that was the same as him, to be his help meet.

There are a few key points that I'd like to make.

First, God didn't create Eve because it's what he wanted.  He did it because it's what Adam wanted.  Eve was a blessing from God to make Adam happy.

Second, we need to analyze what is "an help meet?"  It can roughly be translated to mean a helper, but a helper of what?  My Bible has a section at the beginning of Genesis that gives special notes to the reader to help them in understanding be meaning of the stories.  One of them says that life is a love relationship with God.  If that's true then our helper would be someone who brings us closer to God and helps us love him better.

Third, God never set any boundaries on who could be Adam's helper.  God gave him his choice of everything that was currently available.  It just so happens that there were no other humans at the time and animals can't be our helpers because they don't think on the same level as us.  I believe that while Adam was asleep God took that opportunity to look into his heart and find out who he wanted.  It just happened to be Eve.  I believe God does the same for us.  He looks into our hearts and finds out what our needs and wants are and leads us to the person that is our perfect helper.  Just as God didn't set boundaries on Adam he also doesn't set boundaries on us.

We just need to keep three guidelines in mind to help us find that perfect helper.  First, we need to find a human.  That means no beastiality.  Obviously, animals can't be good helpers on our life's mission.  Second, that person needs to make us happy.  Third, through that happiness that person should bring us closer to peace and love and therefore closer to God.

The bottom line is, if we do not allow ourselves to find out true helpers then we are denying God's greatest gift and our lives and our worship will suffer as a result.  I don't see how any of this has to do with sex or gender or sexuality.

Next:  Sodom and Gomorrah 

Disturbing Youtube Videos

Recently I found a very disturbing Youtube vlogger that is creating waves amongst viewers.  This vlogger is a proud butch lesbian who calls herself DirtyWhiteBoi67.  I am very excited at the aspect of a loud and proud advocate for the butch community, but what infuriates me is her demoralization of the transgender community.  She does not seem to address transwoman, but she constantly attacks transmen.  She believes that all transmen are really just butch lesbians that have been shamed by society into believing that they should be men.  She constantly remarks that transmen hate their bodies, are depressed, need to embrace their femaleness, are not feminists, and can never truly transition or be happy as men when they do transition.  I am deeply saddened by how many people praise her as a great advocate for the LGB (not T) community and encourage her to continue spreading her message.  It's hard to accept that a person who has personal experience with being marginalized and told that their lifestyle is not valid would turn around and do this to others.  Her bigoted views stem from traumatic personal experiences with hating her own body and being told constantly that only a man can be with a woman.  I feel deeply sympathetic to her struggles but I feel that her energies are misdirected into trying to make everyone like her instead of accepting that all people are different and have different experiences and have different goals for their lives.
One Youtube post particularly inflames my rage as it promotes violence.  I don't know if this title is supposed to be symbolic, but even if it is I don't think the general public will understand that.  It's called "Death to Female Id'd Butch Women."  Again, I don't fully understand the title because her problem is not with female butches but with Transmen.  Regardless of her purpose behind it, it is an overtly violent title that is promoting hatred of the LGBT community and advocating murder.  The video itself is a rant about how much she hates transmen and thinks they are disgusting and how she thinks they are promoting a male centric misogynistic America.  I was so upset by the vile nature of this post that I reported it to Youtube in an effort to get it removed from the site.  This is what I wrote:
Issue reported:

Hateful or abusive content > Promotes hatred or violence

Additional details:

The title itself is calling for the death of marginalized individuals. The video is about how much the vlogger thinks transgendered women are disgusting. Trans persons are bullied outcasts who have been killed just for being themselves. Videos like these only spread the hate and encourage the crime. Please stand up for the LGBTQ community and remove this video so no one else can be negatively affected by it's disturbing message.

Please follow the link below so that you can see the video for yourself and draw your own conclusions, but I urge you that if you feel the same as I do then please report this video.  We should be advocating love, acceptance, and equality for all and it is counterproductive to allow bigoted, hateful messages to be spread to the public.  Videos like these only make young trans people afraid to be themselves and non-trans people to have a skewed and distorted view of what trans is.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WAQjGl6TWtw