First of all, everyone is different and not every Transman will want to have sex the same way. Some Transmen won't want their genitalia touched at all, some will want only their clit's fondled, and others will be comfortable with everything being touched. It's important to talk to the person that you are with and make sure you are compatible. By that I mean you both want the same things or at least can agree on how to have sex to make you both happy. Also, keep in mind that while some Transmen want to be with women and would be considered straight some Transmen want to be with men and are therefore gay.
For Transmen that wish to penetrate there are several options. You can simply use your fingers, you can use a hard packer, you can use a strap-on, or you can use a strapless strap-on. Fingers are a great option because you can target the g-spot specifically, you have a wider range of and greater control over the rhythm, and you can orally stimulate your partner at the same time. The draw-back is that your arm can get tired too quickly, you can't go very deep, and you don't get the same sensation of having sex as a man that you would if you were thrusting. If you do want that sensation you can try one of the other methods.
A hard packer is one way to get the sensation of having cis sex. A hard packer is a device that you use to pack your pants so that you have a bulge like a penis and some even have a stand-to-pee device included. They are different from soft packers in that they usually are longer and they are stiffer so that they can be used during sex. The drawbacks to hard packers are that they can be too long and stiff so that you walk around looking like you have a hard on all the time and if you buy a smaller or less stiff model it might not work as well for sex. Also, the harnesses for them can be quite expensive. Therefore, a lot of people prefer to use a soft packer and use a strap-on for sex.
Strap-ons are very versatile and come in many different shapes, sizes, and even colors. Some even have vibrating functions to enhance the pleasure of the receiver. Others, called dual pleasure strap-ons, have nubs, bumps, ticklers, and vibrators to give pleasure to the wearer as well. The problem with a lot of strap-ons is that the actual straps are not well made and do not keep the device in place. Even if you can get one that you like with tight, secure straps you might not like the way the straps look. That's why some Transmen prefer what are called strapless strap-ons.
A strapless strap-on is a dildo with an extra phallic nub coming off the base at a right angle. This short, round nub, for lack of a better word, is what goes in the "wearer" and the phallus comes out between the legs and protrudes like a penis would. This is the most lifelike of all the options and can be very pleasurable to both partners. The wearer is able to receive sensation from the inserted part and from the phallus shaft rubbing on the clit and genitals. Some also come with vibrating bullets that both partners can feel. However, there can be two main problems with this option. First, it's important to do a lot of research to find out what model is best because the nub can be uncomfortable if it's not shaped right and if it's too small it might simply slip out. Also, you shouldn't use this model if you are very dysphoric about your body and won't be comfortable with the fact that it is inserted.
Of course, these are not the only ways of having sex with your partner and you can use any toy you would like or not use any toys at all. These are just the basic ways to mimic the way that cis people have sex. Obviously, no matter what method you choose you will have to do a lot of research and talk openly with your partner so that you make the best choice for both of you. In the end, go for the least complicated method and make sure you are both having fun. After all, that's what it's all about.
Good night! ;D
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